I saw the movie “The Help” recently. I know I’m probably the last woman to see this wonderful film, but if I’m not and you haven’t seen it, GO, GO, GO! It is truly fabulous! I laughed, I cried and I learned a lot.
One thing that struck me was how easily the black maids were able to show true love and care for children who were not theirs, while the white mothers were so often incapable of showing even a tiny bit of care to their own children. And this had nothing to do with race or skin color, but everything to do with culture and social expectation.
The white women, more often then not, were raised by cold, reserved mothers to be just that – cold, reserved and remote mothers who allowed others to care for and love their children. The black women were, by comparison, raised in a culture of inclusion, love and family. The differences were striking beyond belief!
The other lesson I learned from this movie is culture and upbringing can be overcome. We can all do better when we know better. There are lessons to be learned during life at any time, in any way, from any source. All we have to do is want to be better and pay attention. We can LEARN how to love, LEARN how to care, LEARN how to help a child feel good about him/herself, LEARN how to make a family. It can be done.
I want to be the kind of mother and Granny that not only leaves a legacy of joy and caring but also can be an example to others. I really hope to become the Granny I would want for me and mine. In my mind that wonderful Granny is like those black maids who openly showed love and support for all the children in their lives. Like them, this ideal Granny shares whatever she has with anyone who needs it. She wants all children to feel beautiful, strong, capable and worthy. I keep that Granny as my ideal, my goal. She is my daily hug too. Oh, and she looks cute in an apron while making a mean chocolate chip cookie!