1 – Why is it Gramps can hear me turn the TV off when he is         asleep but he cannot  hear me yell at him in the same             room?

2 – How do my grandchildren always know which hand the           treat is in?

3 – Why isn’t the government issuing PSAs concerning the           black hole I’m convinced is lurking behind every com-                                                            puter monitor where things like pens, keys, glasses and                                                         stray socks get lost?

4 – Why am I unable to get up if anything is asleep in my lap, whether that thing                          weighs 5 oz. or 50 lbs.?

5 – How is it possible that no matter how many people are added to my family, there  is             always plenty of love for them all?