I’m going to a funeral today. I don’t want to go but I always go. A funeral is necessary. It’s an ending and a beginning. It’s like a period at the end of a sentence. Final in a way, but also suggesting more to follow.
A funeral is one way to say goodbye. Even if you don’t know the person, which I don’t in this case, you can help the family and friends say farewell. It helps to have the village around you.
A funeral is a good time to remember the person. Grieving is all about remembering and talking about the lost. They should never be forgotten and should be part of the conversation always.
A funeral is a time to grieve for all the lost ones. Every time I attend a funeral I think about my mother, Daddy, my friend Sherry, her husband Paul and all the sweet souls that I miss so much. It’s such an appropriate place and time to mourn for everyone.
A funeral is an organized ritual that provides comfort at a time when everything feels out of control. It soothes the soul, provides stability, and makes sense in a tumultuous period. It may be the only time when you can predict what will happen.
A funeral is a gathering of friends and family that can give you the strength you lack. The clan will back you up and hold you when you most need it. There will be a hand on you at all times, so you will not fall.
A funeral is the best time to cry all you want and need to. You may have to stifle your tears in many other places because it is so inappropriate, but not at the funeral. You can sob until the Kleenex box is empty, if you want, and no one will care.
A funeral is a chance to tell everyone about the lost one. You can provide pictures, video, music, favorite treasures, stories and jokes. Make it as personal and detailed as you want, so all will understand the depth of the life that has ended.
A funeral is a group activity that strengthens the whole village and gives it a common memory. The entire group has a known and agreed-upon way to deal with loss and sadness. The elders hold onto the memories and teach them to the younger ones. This practice keeps the village stable and strong.
Really, a funeral is no small thing. It is a huge thing that can be uncomfortable at times. It makes us face our own mortality, but we are never alone. We do it together. Side by side. Holding each other up.
So today I will go to a funeral with the rest of my village.