While walking in the neighborhood, I met up with my neighbor’s little 4 year old son named Brian. Brian immediately jumped into my arms.
“My goodness!” I said. “You sure have gotten heavy. How did that happen?”
He thought for a moment and proudly said, “I’ve been eating so many dinners!”
I can totally identify!
My grandson Mac is now thirteen years old. ( Hard to believe but true. ) And it seems that first year male teenagers are not as careful with their bathroom habits as they should be. They don’t always flush and they don’t always wash their hands and they don’t always get their pants zipped up.
A few days ago the family, with Mac, came over for dinner. Of course, Mac took a trip to the restroom. When he returned, he was questioned by his mother to be sure he had done everything on his list. He did not pass.
His dad then began scolding him with the usual “How many times do we have to tell you?” and “What’s the matter with you?” and “Why can’t you remember?” You know, the stuff that makes a kid roll his eyes back in his head.
Of course, Gramps had to get into it by adding, “You’ll never have a girlfriend if you don’t get this personal hygiene thing straightened out.”
Without a moment’s pause, Mac’s face lit up with a smile and a gleam in his eye. His instant retort? “Well, I guess the bloodline ends with me!!!!”
Thirteen year olds! Gotta love them!!!!
A couple weeks ago, Gramps and I took Mac to the lake in the boat. (It is still very hot here is Texas!) We went all around the lake and then decided we would beach the boat so we could do some swimming and wading in the cool water. Mac had his life jacket on and jumped over the side of the boat, making a very large splash. His comment – “What a huge displacement!”.
Thank you Science teacher!
One weekend Mac came to visit us and we started playing Monopoly. Gramps’ playing piece was the hat, mine was the thimble and Mac’s was the car. The game lasted from one day to the next, as it often does.
It was becoming clear that Gramps was going to win, as he had all the hotels and houses. Whoever landed on one of his properties next was going to go bankrupt. Mac sat up straight and announced, “I’m going to sell my car!” and promptly traded his playing piece in for the horse. Gramps tried to convince him that the maintenance cost of a horse would probably be more than the car, but Mac was convinced his luck would change.
Gramps, of course, won royally, but what a laugh we had!
The first day of school, my fifth grade grandson Shawn comes home with a list of things he requires for school. “I need a blue folder, a red folder, an art eraser, four number two pencils. Oh and I need a saxophone!”
The Pastor of our church was giving the sermon. He spoke the words “We are but dust and to dust we will return.” After the service, a young girl came up to him and asked, “What is butt dust?”
My daughter – “Wow! It’s 17 degrees outside!”
Son, 8 year old Mac – “At least it’s not 14 degrees!”
The other day,7 yo grandson Mac was over and as usual, we were having pancakes for breakfast. The batter was ready and poured on the skillet. Gramps was flipping the beautifully browned cakes, when I suggested he let Mac do the flipping. Without one second of delay, Mac piped up, “That’s okay. I’m more the batter stirring type.”
Gramps’ brother had come from California for a visit. The two men look somewhat similar, as brothers often do. Our then six year old grandson Mac hadn’t seen his Great Uncle for quite some time and although he was very glad to see his elder kin, he couldn’t remember his name. The youngster very cleverly saved the day by referring to him as “the other Gramps”. To this day, we all call him “the other Gramps”. It just fits.
One of my grandsons, who just turned seven years old, loves his dips and sauces. He favors chips and salsa, fries and ketchup, and pretty much anything else that can be added on the side in a small bowl. The one “go with everything” sauce he has asked for since he could speak is Ranch Dressing. This little chef is always looking for a good new “dipper” sauce to add to his increasing list of favored condiments. Recently, he developed his own concoction by combining equal amounts of Ranch Dressing and ketchup. His name for the new sauce? “Ranchup”!!!
The Village Granny 