The older I get, the more I realize that children have some of the best answers to the basic questions of life. They seem to instinctively know how to manage the twists and turns of everyday living.
With all my education, experience and wisdom, I have learned to look to a five-year-old for some of the wisest lessons in getting through life.
Here are my top ten favorites:
Play is the best medicine. Children have the ability to play with anything, anytime. It’s how they release their emotions and feelings. It’s also how they heal themselves.
Take a nap when you’re tired. Children can sleep anywhere, when they need to. What a great gift is that!
Always greet your elders with a hug and a kiss. This is good advice your whole life – no matter how old you are. Grannies always love to be greeted this way.
Every day is a fresh start. No matter what happens today, no matter how bad it is or who hurts them, tomorrow is always a new day to a child. All is forgotten and everything is possible again. Each morning is a clean slate.
Be courageous. Sing out loud. Dance to the music. Children are not confined by fear of failure or shame. They embrace life.
Laugh every day. Children see silliness everywhere. Look for the humor in your everyday life.
Be active. Get up and move. Go outside. Find something to do. Contact a friend. Children rarely sit in a rocking chair staring into space, thinking about the past.
Scars are badges of honor. Scars are sources of pride to children, not signs of weakness. Be proud of your scars. Tell the story. Make yourself the hero. Pass on the wisdom.
Try new things. Children do not fear the unknown. They will try a new game, dive into a pool or jump on a trampoline. Be adventurous. Get out of your comfort zone. Step into the unknown.
Notice the little things. Children can be fascinated by the smallest of things – ants crossing a sidewalk, the tiny feet of birds, the wings of a bumblebee. The things we take for granted bring them great joy. Take notice of all the small miracles around you, and see how much more beautiful your life will be.
Becoming more childlike is one of the wisest things we can do as we age.
When I was the appropriate age, about fifteen, I took the regular Driver’s Ed. class in school. It was regular then, not so much now. But it was all book learning – no actual behind-the-wheel training.
So my dad took on the job of teaching me to drive. I thought it would take a day or two for me to become a good driver. Boy, was I in for a surprise! To begin with, I learned to drive on a four-speed stick-shift – not easy.
First he took me to an abandoned shopping center parking lot to teach me to park. Yes, the dreaded parallel parking! He would stand at the end of one space, pretending to be the back end of a car. I was then to park behind him – without hitting him!
Oh mercy sakes! Figure out how to parallel park or kill your father! And he never budged one inch – ever!
Then we would drive home on the freeway – of all things! Believe me, I was thrown in the deep end of the driving pool.
But I did pretty good, until the day he had me drive all the way into the driveway. Evidently I was getting too close to the garage door and he yelled, “Stop!!!!!!” He startled me so badly I pressed on the gas instead of the brake. We went through the garage door, damaged the brick surround, which fell on the washer and dryer, and the car, damaging all of them.
Sitting in the car with a garage door and bricks on top of me, I was in tears. I cried, “I don’t believe this!” “Oh, believe it!” he said in a very flat tone.
During the reconstruction of the garage, my friends asked what kind of renovation were we doing at our house. I was too ashamed to say I had driven through the garage door.
I did get better and eventually was able to drive all the way home and park the car in the garage with no harm to house or car.
My dad was a good teacher and taught me everything I needed to know to take my driver’s test. On the day of the test, the gentleman said my parallel parking was great and my freeway driving was very good.
The one thing I didn’t know and Daddy failed to tell me – don’t stop in a crosswalk. Oops!
But I passed my test with flying colors and never ran into a garage door again.
When I was in high school – let’s see, that was in the 60’s! – our Walgreens had a restaurant area. It was sort of a diner with a counter with stools. Very retro now, but commonplace at the time.
I worked there after school and for two summers my last year of high school. I was the youngest one there, not counting the busboys.
Even so, I was always on the cash register when I worked. I never understood that. Was I the only one that could count?
I did learn to give change the proper way, however, which is a big pet peeve of mine to this day, when I get all my change handed to me in a pile. I don’t know what to do with a clump of change.
Anyway, we carried everything on big metal trays. Until the day I spilled six tall milk shakes in glass containers that broke when they hit the floor. That was an interesting day.
I learned to carry five plates of food at one time. I can still do that today. It really impresses the grandchildren.
Every Saturday, I manned the counter, which was a nightmare. Hundreds of kids coming in, wanting a water and a Coke. I would tell them, “You can have one or the other, not both.” I wasn’t going to work that hard for no tip.
And usually on those Saturdays, I didn’t make enough in tips to buy my meal.
And then once a month we had a hot dog stand, which was manned by, guess who? Yes, me! Again, a million kids and no tips. A waitress’s nightmare.
But did I learn a lot working in the little diner! The experience changed my life totally for the better.
Whenever I got discouraged about continuing on in school, I would look at the other waitresses. They were mostly single, in their forties, supporting families on what they made working at our little Walgreens. The encouraged me daily to stay in school and further my education.
I learned perserverence and devotion from a wonderful man who brought his autistic son to the counter every Saturday. It was their routine. The son never spoke but the dad always laughed and smiled. He seemed to be having the best time, when it must have been so difficult for him.
Two of my favorite waitresses pierced my ears in the stock room one day. My one single act of rebellion in high school. It felt wonderful and I wasn’t a bit afraid.
One of the greatest things I learned from those wonderful waitresses was to be kind and gracious to everyone. Greet everyone with a smile and a lilt in your voice. Give a bit more than is asked of you. And always be proud of your work. Whatever you do, do your best. Work as a team.
While I was working there, a few waitresses learned that the busboys were eating some of the leftover food they were picking up from the tables. This bothered them so, that they got other waitresses to start splitting their tips with the boys so they could buy their meals. This really impressed me at the time and has stayed with me my whole life. The fact that people who have so little would be willing to give to those who have even less. I’ve never forgotten.
Those days at Walgreens were wonderful. I learned to be a fast and efficient waitress. I learned to talk “diner.” I learned what return customers meant by “the usual.”
I learned to be responsible and handled money. I became more grown up. I took my lickings with a smile. I was proud of my paycheck.
I owe those waitresses a lot. More than they ever knew. They helped my grow. They helped me mature. They kept me in school.
In so many ways they have affected my whole life.
Thank you, ladies!
Okay, I’ll admit it! I’m a woman! And proud of it! Maybe I wasn’t always – proud, that is.
I remember wishing as a young chil that I could be strong like a boy and do some of the things the boys could do. But age brings wisdom and now I bask in my womanhood.
I think women have so many options these days in so many arenas of life. We can be gentle and strong, quiet and loud, a follower and a leader, a teacher and a student, a stay-at-home mom and a CEO. We can be anything we can envision or dream.
Women are the heart and soul of the family. We set the mood and tone of the whole unit through our interactions with each individual. As the old saying goes, “When mama’s happy, everyone’s happy.”
We are allowed, by society, a much broader range of emotions and emotional responses than men. How refreshing it is to to be able to express ourselves in such a true manner and to know we have an arsenal of feelings at our disposal.
Women are blessed with the ability to bear children. It’s a special gift given and should be viewed as such. It creates a bond with a child that is unique in the world. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything.
We women have a special bond with each other. Having sisters in heart is a great privilege and great fun. I can’t imagine getting through life without the support and love of my friends and fellow females. We form the most wonderful little villages of interests, concern and hobbies, and build into forts of protection, help and family.
Women influence the world just by being who they are. They don’t have to go through somebody else or be somebody else to make a positive mark.
Every good word I speak makes a mark. Every good example I set makes a mark. Every positive act I support makes a mark.
I am a woman and I love it. I’m right where I’m supposed to be and doing what I have been charged to do – make a difference.
I think I’m already old and there are so many things about my age I was not prepared for. Like the fact that it hurts to get out of bed in the morning. Or the need for eve-increasing eyeglass prescriptions. Or the fact that I now tip over so easily, kind of like a Weeble.
I’m not sure when this all happened. Just sort of gradually over the years. I know I don’t walk as fast as I used to and I certainly don’t run anymore. I have arthritis in a couple of my fingers and my eyesight is definitely not what it used to be. I forget more things but I am still able to learn new things.
My body has declined as I have aged. That is a fact. But I am still mobile and am still able to do my hand sewing. Those are big gifts I have been given.
I am definitely a lot smarter and wiser than I’ve ever been. Over the many years of experience, I have gained knowledge that is indispensable to me now. It was earned, it was paid for, it is mine.
As I age, I gain wisdom and grace to deal with life in all its forms – the good and the difficult. Decisions become easier because I’ve tried many options in the past. I’m now the one that passes that learning to the younger ones in the family.
So it seems to be a real balancing act. As part of me is losing strength, another part is gaining. I remember past days when I could do something that I no longer can do, but I also look forward to tomorrow when I will be better than I am today.
Which means every day is my best day.
Dear Sweetie –
I know you’re busy being an active teenage girl, but I have some words of wisdom for you. I have gained this wisdom through many years of experience and lots of trial and error. I hope to relieve some of your anxiety and give you hope for the future.
Most importantly, know that the difficult times in life are survivable. It may not seem that way now, but only because you have had such a short life and maybe so few hard times. Each success in hurtling a storm will make you more equipped to face the next one. By the time you reach my age, you will be a master and a teacher, and others will look to you for counsel in the stressful times.
Don’t take yourself or anything else for that matter, too seriously. Learn to see the humor in everyday life and you will always have a smile on your face. You will find that humor will get you through a lot of difficult situations.
Always tell the truth. No matter what, tell the truth. It shapes your character for the rest of your life. Make your word and your signature your most solemn promise.
Meet all sorts of people and value diverse relationships. Learn to make and maintain friendships. Some of the people in your life now will remain close to you for the rest of your life. Make good memories.
Try all sorts of interests. Join after-school activities. Take up a musical instrument. Try out for a team. All these things help you discover your strengths and weaknesses – all good knowledge. And they make you a more well-rounded person.
Don’t abuse drugs and alcohol – just don’t!!! They bring you nothing but heartache and will steal your life. They will take everything from you and I do mean everything – your money, your job, your family, your home, your friends, your name, your trust, your health and finally your very life.
Finally, have fun! These are some of the best years of your life – enjoy them. Go to school with a positive attitude. Attend school functions. Spend time with friends and family. Explore hobbies and sports. Keep a journal. Look for ways to share with others. Be goofy.
Have faith in yourself. You will do well and will be successful.
Remember, I will always be here to help you.
Your grown-up self
Today’s blog is my 400th! I can’t believe it but yes, it’s true. Four hundred blogs!!!!
I’ve been writing pretty much all my life. Mostly newsletters for different organizations and lots of letters. I’ve always loved expressing myself per the written word. Even after I almost failed Freshman English in College. (The Professor didn’t think I was much good at writing in those days.)
I started this blog because I had a few things to say about being a Granny. I thought it would be a temporary outlet and that I would run out of topics. What a silly thought that was!
I have more to say now than I did then. As the years have gone by, I have found that more and more ideas have occurred to me and my subject areas have broadened immensely. It seems odd, but the older I get, the more observations and opinions I have. I realize now it will never stop.
This blog has given me a wonderful creative outlet. It has allowed me many opportunities to express myself in hundreds of ways. Through gratitude, humor, self-reflection, pride for another, happiness, courage and faith, I have been able to tell stories about Granny, Gramps, the grandchildren and the village.
The blog keeps me disciplined. I must not go too long between blogs. I must choose a topic. I must write a certain number of words with a beginning and an end. I must edit it and it must make sense when done. Then it gets published. At that point it’s all up to the readers.
They are in charge of reviewing the blog and making comments on it. No one can know the importance of the viewing public to me. Without you, your views and your comments, I really have no reason to write a blog. It would be like talking to the wind.
The blog provides me much encouraging feedback to keep writing. It’s you, the readers, who keep me going and wanting to keep posting. One sweet compliment lasts a good long while and a positive reply is as good as intravenous vitamins.
All you viewers out there have no idea how important you are to me. How much you mean to me and how much I depend on you. You are always brutally truthful as to what is a good blog and what is less than my best. For that I thank you.
This blog has taught me to be able to choose which parts of a story can be told in truth and which parts need to be kept secret or told in code. People must be protected and social media is not very good at that, so a person must decide what is included and what is not, to protect the people. Editing becomes a big part of writing a blog well.
This blog has taught me another thing – how kind most of you readers are. You are basically a good group of nice people with specific opinions I need to hear. All this exchange back and forth makes me a better writer and you a better reader. That combined effect of getting better makes the whole blog that much better.
So how do I say thank you to all of you – my faithful followers, my diligent readers, my responsible ones, who read each blog. How do I express my gratitude?
This is my BIG THANK YOU! I couldn’t do this without you! Besides the fact that I have to do this, I have to do this for you! Thank you for that – for being there and making it worth it!
Here’s to the next 400!
Well, the Coronavirus certainly has made itself known and recognized in our world. Events cancelled and/or postponed. Travel stopped. Schools and businesses closed. Vacations extended. People quarantined. A country under a State of National Emergency.
And, of course, the panic buying of emergency goods and stockpiling of all manner of products. It’s all scary stuff! What is a person to do?
First, I refuse to live in fear. I am a person who always sees the glass not only half-full but full to overflowing. No matter what, my world is abundant and full and positive – always. No virus can take that from me.
I’m also going to be cautious, so as not to harm myself or anyone else. I have an obligation to everyone to be sensible and reasonable with my health and theirs. There is no reason to take unnecessary risks that would potentially harm anyone.
Therefore, I will follow standard guidelines and common sense in dealing with this contagious disease, as I have with every other contagious disease I have confronted.
My convenience and whim should not scare or endanger anyone I care about. So I will be thoughtful and caring in my actions. But I will not be afraid.
If someone needs my assistance or help in any way, I am obligated to give aid. Not just if it’s convenient and not just to the point of discomfort. But all the way. I’m supposed to give whatever is needed, for as long as needed, to whoever needs it. Even if it kills me. Hard words to live by.
So I can’t in good conscience do anything that is only for me and leaves my fellow sister or brother out on their own. Such as buying all the water in the store and leaving none for anyone else. It seems selfish to me.
If you have all the water and your neighbor has none, and that neighbor gets sick, are you willing to take water to your neighbor and stay with him until he gets well? Just asking.
These are hard times. We have responsibilities to ourselves, our loved ones and everyone around us. The environment seems to be one of extremes and getting more so. Confusion is all around. Decisions are being made for us, which makes the world feel out of control.
But we can always decide how we react to anything. No one can tell us how to do that. That is entirely up to each of us.
We can always choose to be calm, wise and intentional.
That’s my plan.