Things Children Learn Without Being Told

No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back; they always catch the second person.

Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

Potatoes really can’t grow in your ears, no matter how dirty they get.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

School lunches stick to the wall.

You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

The best place to be when you are sad is in Granny’s lap.