Tag Archives: wisdom

All The Courage In The World

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What would you do if you had all the courage in the world? I can’t even imagine my world with no fear, no worry, no “what ifs”. I’m fairly bold but still . . . . .

I think my granddaughter Katie is a really brave girl. She faced bullies and mean kids every day at school and yet she kept going . . . . . every day!!! I think that is remarkably courageous.

She had low self esteem, anxiety attacks and depression, and yet she faced those bullies again and again and again. I can’t imagine where she got the strength as a twelve year old to do that. I’m still amazed by her. She is my hero!

She is now fifteen, in high school, is an amazing actress and has many close friends. She likes herself, is happy and the anxiety attacks are few. Life is good for her.

Now if I had no fear of anything . . . . . I might open a quilt store. But do I have the physical energy to run It?! I guess I could hire people to do all that for me. But it is a dream I’ve had.

I might also open a quilt museum. That way I could display all the quilts I long to own. I would really love to do that! Think how much I would learn about all those quilts. Mmmmmmmmm! Oh give me a minute here . . . . . I’m in my dream world.

Let me see . . . . . I think I would write a book. I think there is one in me but I’m too fearful to let it out or maybe it’s I think I’m not smart enough to write a really good enough book. I’m not sure what is stopping me. Lots of different fears all together, I guess.

Then I think I would become a life coach or a lecturer, of sorts. I have wisdom and advice to give. If I were braver, I would be more bold about it.

One other thing – I would have liked to have been an interior decorator, just because I love color and putting furnishings together. I really love filling up an empty room or house. And I adore living in a well decorated space.

Of course, to do all these things I should have started thirty or forty years ago. But at my age of almost seventy-five, with not all the courage in the world, I have only lived portions of my dreams.

I quilt in my sewing room almost everyday. I display quilts in my home and share them with friends and family.

I write a blog and newsletters for organizations I belong to. I love to write letters to family and friends that are long and meaningful.

I have lots of advice to share with friends and family whenever they ask.

I have decorated several homes in my life with great joy.

What a great life I’ve had, even being fearful, not so courageous and a bit meek.

How much grander it will be as I become braver and braver!

I can’t wait!!!!

Sometimes Just Listening Is The Best

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First of all, I’m a talker. I tell stories and jokes, keep the conversation going, ask questions and make comments. I’m good at small talk and making strangers feel welcome. At a restaurant, I can get the waiter’s/waitress’ complete history by the time our meal is served.

I’m not usually comfortable with silence in the room. I love the sound of talking, laughing and conversation.

But sometimes . . . . .

As the other day when I just happened to be standing with a friend at church. I asked her how she was.

(Now let me pause here and give you some good Granny advice. Never and I mean NEVER ask anyone how they are unless you are prepared to hear the answer. The whole answer!)

She proceeded to tell me how things were not going well, how the doctors were not able to give her answers, how frightened she was, how out of control she felt.

Believe me when I tell you, I had no jokes, no stories, no small talk, no witty words to make her feel better. I stood there silent, holding her hand and listened until she had no more words.

She thanked me profusely for hearing her. We hugged and cried. Then she said, “You are the only one who understands.”

Truthfully, I didn’t understand anything, except I could identify with her feelings. I had said nothing of any profound use, offered no advice, didn’t even say I understood.

I simply looked into her eyes for what seemed like hours and listened to her story of pain. It doesn’t seem like much, until no one does it. Then the lack of it can be it’s own kind of death.

She and I aren’t even the closest of friends. We see each other at church and church functions and are friendly.

How this all happened this one particular time, this one particular moment and place is a mystery. Or is it?

She was ready and I was ready. One to talk and one to listen.

And you know what? I’m as grateful as she is!!!!

The Golden Girls Had A Good Idea

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I know I’m showing my age here but “The Golden Girls” was a sitcom back in the late 1980’s. It featured four previously married elderly women living together to share expenses.

But as we saw the relationships develop, they shared more than expenses. The four women supported each other during good times and hard, they encouraged growth and bravery, they challenged bad behavior and forgave mistakes. In other words, they became true, close, devoted friends for life.

They lived full rich lives because they had each other in their lives, not in spite of having each other in their lives.

The presence of girlfriends in a woman’s life is almost essential. Especially during those years when we live alone.

Let’s face it. Statistically we will outlive our husbands/boyfriends or we will be divorced. We will more than likely live our senior years as a single. And we will need our women friends more than ever.

It would behoove all of us to develop those relationships earlier in life and have good strong friends already in place as we age. I know I depend on my gal peeps now.

We share our love of quilting, embroidery, applique and of course, lunch. We trade secrets, jokes, recipes and patterns. We visit sick sisters, go on road trips, get matching T-shirts and of course, do lunch. We sew together, retreat together, watch movies together, take classes together and of course, lunch together.

I couldn’t survive without my besties now, much less in my later years.

Definitely, the Golden Girls had a great idea.

Learn from it!!!!

Aunt Ellen’s Legacy

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Our sweet Aunt Ellen passed away last year at the grand age of 97. Because of the pandemic, we could not have a funeral for the whole family. So this year, the family had a memorial service at the church she helped found in Tennessee.

The service was lovely. We sang Aunt Ellen’s favorite hymns, read her chosen Scriptures and heard great stories of moments in her life. We met friends and heard new stories never told before.

We saw the columbarium where Aunt Ellen had been interred next to Uncle Gene. It all came full circle. Complete.

But at the reception, where four generations were gathered, I began to see the real legacy of Aunt Ellen.It was children living out the ethics, strength and humor of a dramatic mother who made a difference. It was grandchildren mirroring the teachings and remembering camping and paying cards with a very involved grandmother. It was great grandchildren running around the restaurant, playing with cousins they hadn’t seen in a long time, and hearing stories about a great grandmother they knew but maybe not very well. It was nieces and nephews making plans with cousins to keep newly revised relationships alive and well.

Family — that was the real story of Aunt Ellen. The story told over years and generations with ups and downs, laughs and cries, rain and sunshine, as all stories are.

The story was visible in one room but could not be contained in one lifetime. A legacy is very complicated and takes time. It takes commitment, love, planning and a lot of joy.

I think Aunt Ellen did a good job. Looking around at her legacy, I could see evidence of her love, commitment, humor and ethics. I saw good people laughing, telling stories, making new memories, making plans, developing their own legacies.

Aunt Ellen would be proud.

I think Aunt Ellen did a good job. Looking around at her legacy, I could see evidence of her love, commitment, humor and ethics. I saw good people laughing, telling stories, making new memories, making plans, developing their own legacies.

Aunt Ellen would be proud.

comcomplicated and takes time. It takes commitment, love, planning and a lot of joy.

Life Lessons From Children

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The older I get, the more I realize that children have some of the best answers to the basic questions of life.  They seem to instinctively know how to manage the twists and turns of everyday living.

With all my education, experience and wisdom, I have learned to look to a five-year-old for some of the wisest lessons in getting through life.

Here are my top ten favorites:

Play is the best medicine.  Children have the ability to play with anything, anytime.  It’s how they release their emotions and feelings.  It’s also how they heal themselves.

Take a nap when you’re tired.  Children can sleep anywhere, when they need to.  What a great gift is that!

Always greet your elders with a hug and a kiss.  This is good advice your whole life – no matter how old you are.  Grannies always love to be greeted this way.

Every day is a fresh start.  No matter what happens today, no matter how bad it is or who hurts them, tomorrow is always a new day to a child.  All is forgotten and everything is possible again.  Each morning is a clean slate.

Be courageous.  Sing out loud.  Dance to the music.  Children are not confined by fear of failure or shame.  They embrace life.

Laugh every day.  Children see silliness everywhere.  Look for the humor in your everyday life.

Be active.  Get up and move.   Go outside. Find something to do.  Contact a friend. Children rarely sit in a rocking chair staring into space, thinking about the past.

Scars are badges of honor.  Scars are sources of pride to children, not signs of weakness.  Be proud of your scars.  Tell the story.   Make yourself the hero.  Pass on the wisdom.

Try new things.   Children do not fear the unknown.  They will try a new game, dive into a pool or jump on a trampoline.  Be adventurous.  Get out of your comfort zone.  Step into the unknown.

Notice the little things.  Children can be fascinated by the smallest of things – ants crossing a sidewalk, the tiny feet of birds, the wings of a bumblebee.  The things we take for granted bring them great joy.  Take notice of all the small miracles around you, and see how much more beautiful your life will be.

Becoming more childlike is one of the wisest things we can do as we age.